CHRISTIAN SEX

And the Spirit and the Bride say, "Come". And let him that hears say, "Come". And let him that is thirsty "Come". And whoever will, let him take the water of life freely! Rev. 22:17

~ CHRISTIAN SEX ~

PRESENT OURSELVES AS LIVING SACRIFICES

1 Corinthians 6:13b The Body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.

Rom. 12:1 ï¿¿Beseech you therefore, bretheren, by the mercies of God. That ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.ï¿¿

Rom. 13:13 & 14 ï¿¿Let us walk honestly, as in the day; not in rioting and drunkenness, not in chambering and wantonness, not in strife and envying 14. But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfill the lusts thereof.ï¿¿

ORAL SEX

Col. 3:5 & 8 ï¿¿Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry;ï¿¿ 8. ï¿¿But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth.ï¿¿

l Thes. 4:4,5 ï¿¿That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honor; 5. Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God.ï¿¿

Rom 1:26,28,29 For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections for even their women did change the natural use into the which is against nature: 28. And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; 29. Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers,

DO NOT LIVE IN PLEASURE

1Tim. 5:6 ï¿¿But she that liveth in pleasure is dead while she liveth.ï¿¿

Heb. 13:4 ï¿¿Marriage is honorable in all and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.ï¿¿

SODOMY (ANAL SEX)

BEASTIALITY (SEX WITH ANIMALS)

Leviticus 18:23 FDo not have sexual relations with an animal.

REFUSING SEX TO YOUR SPOUSE

1Corinthians 7:3-5 ³ The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. ⁴ The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. ⁵ Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

DIFFERENT POSITIONS

Heb. 13:4 Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

MASTURBATION

Eph. 4:19 Who being past feeling have given themselves over unto lasciviousness, to work all uncleanness with greediness (this covers oral and sodomy as well as bestiality).

Eph 5:3-23 ³ But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for Godï¿¿s holy people. ⁴ Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. ⁵ For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy personï¿¿such a person is an idolaterï¿¿has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. ⁶ Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things Godï¿¿s wrath comes on those who are disobedient. ⁷ Therefore do not be partners with them. ⁸ For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light ⁹ (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) ¹⁰ and find out what pleases the Lord. ¹¹ Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. ¹² It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. ¹³ But everything exposed by the light becomes visibleï¿¿and everything that is illuminated becomes a light. ¹⁴ This is why it is said: ï¿¿Wake up, sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.ï¿¿ ¹⁵ Be very careful, then, how you liveï¿¿not as unwise but as wise, ¹⁶ making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. ¹⁷ Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lordï¿¿s will is. ¹⁸ Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, ¹⁹ speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, ²⁰ always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. ²¹ Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. ²² Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. ²³ For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.

BE HOLY

Heb. 12:14 ¹⁴ Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.

2 Tim. 2:15 ¹⁵ Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.

GENERAL RULES

2 Tim. 3:2-6 ï¿¿For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts.

Gal. 5:17 For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh and these are contrary the one to the other; so that you cannot do the things that you would.

Gal. 5:19, 21 ¹⁹ The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; ²⁰ idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions ²¹ and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

1 Cor.6:18 &19 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man does is without the body, but he that commits fornication sins against his own body. 19. What? Donï¿¿t you know that your body is the temple of Holy Ghost which is in you, which you have of God, and you are not your own?

2 Cor. 6:14 ¹⁴ Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

1 Tim. 5:6 But She that lives in pleasure is dead while she lives.

James 1:12-15 Blessed is the man that endures temptation for when he is tried. He shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord had promised to them that love him. 13. Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God can not be tempted with evil, neither tempts he any man: 14. But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. 15. Then when lust had conceived, it brings forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, brings forth death.

1 Peter 3:7 ⁷ Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

1 Peter 4:2-4 ² As a result, they do not live the rest of their earthly lives for evil human desires, but rather for the will of God. ³ For you have spent enough time in the past doing what pagans choose to doï¿¿living in debauchery, lust, drunkenness, orgies, carousing and detestable idolatry. ⁴ They are surprised that you do not join them in their reckless, wild living, and they heap abuse on you.

2 Peter 2:10, 14 ¹⁰ This is especially true of those who follow the corrupt desire of the flesh and despise authority. Bold and arrogant, they are not afraid to heap abuse on celestial beings; ¹¹⁴ With eyes full of adultery, they never stop sinning; they seduce the unstable; they are experts in greedï¿¿an accursed brood!

Therefore, it is a sin to refuse sexual intercorse to your spouse!

As to frequency, I suppose people differ. But it is not for an outsider to say in any case. If one partner wants to have sexual intercorse, then God's command for marriage is clear enough: "no refusal" is permitted unless mutually agreed to for a time of prayer. That is the command of scripture. The body of the wife belongs to her husband and her husband's body belongs to the woman.

First, search your own heart and see if you have not "destroyed your own household" (Prob. 14:1 The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.) in terms of normal sexual response and desire. We will deal with this in another posting, but for our purposes here you must honestly ask yourself the question if you have contributed to her frigidity. Have you brought pornography into your marriage bed, for example, or thoughts of another woman? Have you been a lover or just a user of your wife's body? In other words, if you have been sinning and are just reaping the harvest of your ways, then there is no time like the present to repent, ask for forgiveness, and seek God for healing. But if your conscience is clear, and she is sinning by "denying your sexual right", this is also a grievous sin that directly disobeys the word of God, and she must be confronted about it.

Practically, this needs to be worked out some other way than by the letter of the law; but the law has its "ministry" (of condemnation). The law won't change her, in other words, but will serve to bring proper conviction into her life. Confront her with the word, in private, as commanded by Jesus Himself. If this does not work, bring two or three to confront her of her sin. Hopefully, she will see her sin and repent. Perhaps the shame of having her secret sin exposed will goad her to take seriously her covenantal responsibilities. God has told you what to do if you find your brother (or sister, in this case) in sin (Mt 18:15-17). Go to her, just the two of you, and confront her. If she does not repent, then go with two or three. This is the command of your Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

More than a few women have a problem in this area. Not to be overly dramatic, but these women are prostituting themselves within marriage. For one reason or another, such women like to have their husbands sex starved so they can blackmail them, control them, humiliate them, dole out the favors on their terms, get what they want, etc. They are prostitutes, in other words, who happened to be married. Husbands can do the same thing, and have, as a form of control; but it is more often women who fall into this pathology of sin. Of course, there is always the excuses and contingencies, as with any sin. But God looks to the heart of the matter, to what is really going on. Whenever sex is bartered, it is prostitution; and no money need change hands. Married people belong to each other. A wife in disobedience has become a married prostitute with a single customer. God is not mocked. Such is a great offense and thus the warnings of the scriptures above.

There is not much that scripture says to married couples, and this is something very clear. It is a sin to deny the partner in marriage. This must be confronted and repented of. My personal opinion is that people who practice sexual intercourse outside of the perimeters already established by God, have lost their love and respect for their spouses. In order to obtain the most satisfaction from sexual intercourse one must use sexual intercourse as a form of expressing your love to your spouse and not as an act of lust.

Eph 5:3-17 (NIV) But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people... Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God's wrath comes on those who are disobedient... Find out what pleases the Lord. Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. For it is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible, for it is light that makes everything visible... Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is.